


Philophobia

by adishi17



Category: South Park
Genre: AU?, Anxious!Craig Tucker, Best Friends to Lovers, Encouragement, Eventual Romance, Friends to Lovers, High School, Light Depression?, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Philophobia, Romance, South Park AU?, aged-up, light angst?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-21 17:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13745952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adishi17/pseuds/adishi17
Summary: Philophobia;"The fear of falling in love or emotional attachment."A fear that a certain noiret had for almost five years now. Trauma has hit him hard and he didn't expect it to hurt him this much. His fear has brought him to the extent where he wanted to disappear due to the fact he can't love. It wasn't his fault for the traumatizing relationship he was in.Though once he meets a certain blond spaz, he'll have to go through something painful once again. Why? The answer lies within himself.It's either taking 'this' path or 'that' path.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this seriously, this is my first fanfic BTW.  
> Take this as some kind of South Park AU where Craig has Philophobia.  
> Also, there won't be any depictions of Tweek and Craig's fake relationship in the past or some stuff like that, this follows a different plot. So yeah, take this as an AU :'D  
> Okay go enjoy, dudes and dudettes.  
> Have a good day/night/afternoon.

It was a regular Saturday morning for Craig. Waking up, getting out of bed, changing into casual clothes, washing your face and going downstairs to grab some breakfast. It was more of a routine than something regular since he's used to this kind of cycle every time he wakes up on the weekends. The feeling of waking up in the morning and knowing what to do after doing so is something that wouldn't surprise anyone at all. Common sense. The morning slowly passes by as the noiret sat in his room enjoying the company of his companion, Stripe. It was the only ever real company he could get close to without having the urge to just run away in fear. He finds comfort in the company of an animal, which he doesn't mind at all. His friends just let him do as he please as long as it's nothing too serious or bad.

The noiret would usually bring up a topic to talk about to his guinea pig, something that (sometimes) neither of them understand, especially Stripe. It would end up with Craig rambling on about the topic he talked about and bounce onto another topic in just a split second. Rambles then slowly turn into rants, and rants slowly turn into vents, then the cycle starts all over again. He was used to this kind of thing whenever he was alone, and whenever he just wanted to stay at home and not interact with anyone at all. He's had times where he would go out to hang out with friends, and times where he just wants to watch Red Racer all day long without talking to anyone at all. The reason he does this is something no one would understand, at least that's what he tells himself.

Everyday for him is a struggle. A battle. A war. Why? He's afraid. Afraid of feeling love. Even for just a second, he's afraid already. He never brings up the topic to anyone, but he has talked about it once to Clyde and Token, and that was it. His fear even let something else grow inside Craig; anxiety. Each day he thinks about it, he starts to hate himself, telling him things that he didn't want to have to believe. The only time he's calm and free of those thoughts is when he's alone with Clyde, Token or even Stripe. Parents? He couldn't trust them. Sure he loves them, but not to the extent where he trusts them fully. Sister? She was a little shit most of the time and couldn't tolerate the way she treats him. His own family was also something he would sometimes want to avoid, so he just locks himself in his room as a way to cope with the want to avoid them.

"I'm tired.." Craig whispers to himself. He sat in front of the window desk, looking out of the pane of glass with dull eyes.

The curtains were pulled back slightly, enough for the noiret to look out of. There wasn't anything interesting to watch out of it or at least something to look out of it, but it seems to soothe Craig in some way. He just keeps on looking for something to look at outside of his room's window, but not much catches his eye. There were some instances where he would space out and stare at something without even knowing it. He was really honestly tired. Though he's unsure of what he's really tired of. As much as he wants to pinpoint what he's tired of, he just didn't want to waste his time hoping and ending up with terrible results in the end.

Craig leans back into his chair and pushes against his desk to move his chair back slightly. He leans his head back onto the chair and lays there for a while as he looks up at the blank, dull ceiling. His mind starts to flood with thoughts that were placed at the back of his head for a while now, asking himself the same questions he asked himself before and reminding him of the mental notes he made in the past week, month or year. He just mostly remembered his breathing exercises and how to deal with his emotions by using his logic or so-called 'common sense'. He lets the thoughts just wander by, remembering them one by one, but forgetting some due to them being some minor bad experiences. As time passed by only a few minutes, he was brought back to reality thanks to his phone's ringtone. It could scare the hell out of anyone, well maybe except for Craig at times.

Craig groans in annoyance as he sits up and drags his chair forward back to his desk, just for him to grab his phone and answer it there. "Hello?"

 _ _"Hey, dude!"__  Clyde answers. Craig noticed the tone of his voice was different-he probably has some exciting news again.

"What is it this time?" The noiret asked, since he really wasn't in the mood for any long conversations at the moment. Even though he did somewhat have one with Stripe, but he never counts that as a conversation. A conversation for him is when someone typically replies-short or not.

 _ _"What do you mean 'what is it this time'?"__  asked Clyde,  _ _"I just wanted to ask if you're available today- cross that- right now."__  Clyde finished. Craig started to feel some weight in his stomach, or more like some kind of pain in his stomach. He didn't like that question.

Clyde was completely aware of Craig's philophobia. A question of availability would send Craig into some kind of empty room that had a puzzle to it, but couldn't escape until he finishes the puzzle. Basically, it gave Craig pressure. This type of thing has happened more than three times at least, thanks to some of his friends trying to hook him up with some random girl in his class or out of his class. He doesn't want to remember those times, it only brings him down more.

"Why are you asking?" Craig answered back. He tried not to sound like he was starting to panic, because right now, he was starting to worry about what was going to happen to him.

 _ _"Not asking for a friend this time."__  Clyde assured his friend. Now that's one less thing to worry about.  _ _"I just wanna hang out with you and Token, that's all. We rarely hang out now. Thanks to the exams this coming week, heh."__  Clyde chuckled. It's true that they haven't been hanging out lately. Not only because of exams, but because of Craig just wanting to avoid contact with anyone other than the people he trusts.

He rolled his eyes and just casually ignored what the brunette said. "Where are we gonna hangout?" He asked.

 _ _"Just meet us at Token's place."__  Clyde answered. He sounded excited as soon as he answered. The noiret was starting to get worried.

"If you say so," he replied in his usual monotone voice, "What if I don't meet you guys?"

 _ _"Oh don't be like that, Craig, you know you miss us!"__  Clyde joked, laughing at the other end of the line. "Heh, anyways, we'll see 'ya soon, dude." The brunette ended it there and hung up the call.

Craig sighed. He was starting to have second thoughts about this hang out that his friend informed him about just now. He wasn't sure on whether he should trust the brunette, or not. Even though Clyde has clearly stated that he 'wasn't asking for a friend.' Craig would like to doubt that. But what else could he do? If he bailed on Clyde and Token, mostly Clyde, he'd probably regret it. He's known the brunette for a long time now, ever since kindergarten. Not going to a simple hangout could break the young boy's heart.

He's made up his mind and just decided to go. If he sees a new person there, then he could just do what he would always do. Flip off Clyde and leave. Easy as that. If there's no new person, he's still gonna flip him off. He did distract Craig from spacing out and shit, so he deserves it. Pushing himself against his desk, he stood up and walked over to his closet to grab his navy blue jacket. After putting on the jacket, he grabbed his favorite hat and put it on like it was nothing. It was just his regular hat.

He headed out of his room and dashed downstairs, not giving a fuck if anyone saw him do that. Before he left the house, he checked the whole house for his parents, just so he could get (somewhat) permission to leave. But they were nowhere to be found. He sighed as he took out his phone and just decided to send them a message telling them that he was gonna be out for a little while. It was for the sake of his parent's worrying over him. He's not thirteen anymore, he's seventeen and can manage fine on his own. After sending the message to his parents, he was on his way to Token's place without waiting for a reply from his mom or dad.

 

* * *

 

"Finally! God, what took you so long?!" Clyde exclaimed. Craig was walking toward them and just flipped off Clyde.

"A construction was blocking my usual route to Token's house." He lied. He was busy stalling time for the fact that his anxiety was getting in the way and he didn't want to have to tell Clyde nor Token how he felt about this.

"A construction? Huh, I don't remember there being a construction anywhere near my place." Token points out as he scratches his temple, pondering on how there was a construction going on now around his neighborhood.

"Eh, South Park, what're you gonna do about it? Lots of shit happens, so they have to repair it." Craig simply said, shrugging his shoulders trying to act oblivious as possible. "So, where are we going?" His patience started to run out, so he had to ask just to save time.

 "There's a new coffee shop down this street," Clyde answers, "it's only a few blocks away from Token's place luckily." The brunette finished.

"Then you could've told me where it was instead of making me walk down to Token's." Craig was right. But at the same time, he was somewhat wrong because he wouldn't even know the name of the coffee shop nor where it was specifically, so it's not a win-win for him nor Clyde and Token.

"As if we'd let you go on your own." Clyde replied, patting his friend's shoulder. "And I wanna be nice, man, can't I be nice to a friend and help him get to their destination?" He said and popped up those terrible puppy eyes.

Craig rolled his eyes, "And when were you nice and helpful?" The noiret spits coldly, arching an eyebrow at the brunette who was trying to look as sympathetic as possible.

"Ouch man, that literally went straight through my heart." Clyde replied as he places a hand on his chest, acting as if he was shot by a bullet.

"Okay, we're wasting time you guys," Token intervenes, "let's just head to that new coffee place and get something to eat and drink there." Token insisted as he led the way to the coffee shop.

Clyde follows and walks by his side. Craig could've sworn before that Clyde has always been the type of person who would want to walk by Token's side until their death. He noticed how his brunette friend would always walk on his right and never leave his side for a least a second. Whenever someone else was walking beside Token, Clyde would try to push them aside by just holding onto Token's arm as if they were something. Craig didn't want to object nor butt in whatever Clyde was doing to Token, because he sure as hell didn't want to do anything that's love-related.

He remembered when Clyde had to deal with his case with Bebe and he kept on pouring out his heart to Craig. He felt awkward the whole time Clyde was acting like a crybaby, so scared of how he was gonna talk it out with Clyde. He even remembered one time he suggested to talk about this with Token, he went wild. Clyde just started to spout out random nonsense about his best friend. Craig wasn't sure how to react to it, but he just decided to stay silent and not give a single fuck about it and just let his friend say whatever he wanted- needed to say.

As he thinks back to that, he looks at his two best friends and notices how Clyde's smile was wider whenever he was around his best friend Token. Only now he realizes that and he takes it as a sign of some kind of ‘new relationship’ between the two best friends. Though, Clyde’s case couldn’t be as worse as Craig’s case, not by one bit. Fear and love are two different things, so Clyde has a chance with love, while Craig could just sit there and support him all the way while he lets the pain sink in that he couldn’t love for one second.

Laughs come out from the mouths of the two most talkative people in front of the noiret, and he couldn’t give a fuck about what they’re laughing about. He just wanted to get to the damn coffee shop and get this whole hangout over with. For once, he felt like he was at the limit of his patience. As much as he wanted to blame the two ‘idiots-in-love’ in front of him, he’d rather just blame himself for even accepting Clyde’s invitation to this hangout. Craig lets out a quiet sigh and hoped that he didn’t catch his friends’ attention, and luckily they didn’t hear him. Because they were too busy laughing at each others’ cheesy jokes…probably.

“Are we almost there yet?” Craig blurted out without even thinking about his words for at least a second.

“Just one more block and then we’re there,” Clyde answered, turning his head toward Craig, “impatient, dude?” The brunette asked as he raised an eyebrow and half-smiled at Craig.

“Kind of, if we don’t hurry up I’ll have to take a detour and just head back home.” Craig says blandly as he shrugs his shoulder.

“Har, har, you won’t do that.” Clyde rolled his eyes at Craig and turned back to Token and continued talking with him again.

Craig just quietly grunted to himself and scoffed. As they walked down the last block, they made it to the coffee shop. Craig looked up at the sign of the shop and read it; “Tweek Bros.” He analyzed the name of the shop for a few seconds before he just let the name sink into his head. The group then head inside and Craig was blown away by the aroma of the insides. Coffee. That was the only thing he could smell, well aside from a bit of sweat and a bit of bad breath? Well he couldn’t tell the difference, but he knew that the smell of coffee was the most noticeable one.

They head over to one of the available tables at the very back of the shop which was also somewhat near to the windows. Token and Clyde sat down next to each other (of course) while Craig sat down in the inner chair of the table which had four chairs. Before one of them stood up to take the order, they all looked at the small menu placed on their table. Token and Clyde couldn’t help but babble about their orders, so it left the noiret to just think of his order on his own. He carefully examined the menu, looking at every section of it.

Most noticeable feature of the menu was the different coffee flavors, simple meals and desserts. It was surprising for Craig to find out that this shop even had desserts. He wasn’t really fond of coffee, nor has he even gotten into drinking it at any point in his life, the taste of it just didn’t really interest him. The first time he drank coffee, he really didn’t seemed too happy nor disappointed, he took it as something that his body just took normally. No reactions but just his simple shrug. Though he doesn’t mind drinking coffee once in a while, __if__  it’s offered to him without any choice.

“Okay, who’s gonna order?” Clyde asked, pausing the conversation between him and Token. Token shakes his head no and takes out his phone, probably to check his social media and other shit. This leaves Clyde to look at Craig, which leaves Craig in the hot-seat.

“Ohhh, no, you know I’m terrible at-”

“Dibs on not going to the counter.” Token and Clyde say in unison before Craig could even finish his sentence. Even though Token was too busy on his phone, he was still listening to whatever Clyde or Craig had to say.

“I- Wha- Augh, god-dammit.” Craig groaned. He has no choice, if he refused he’d only be convinced to do the thing he didn’t want to do. “What the hell do you guys even wanna get here?” He grunted.

“Just get us all espressos,” Clyde answered, “don’t know if this place makes good coffee yet.” He added, making a somewhat logical point.

“Get me a cappuccino instead of an espresso.” Token protested, changing his order for himself. “Ask me what I want before you go and assume everyone likes what you like, Clyde.” Token informed the brunette, making him sigh.

“Okay, Token, I’ll keep that in mind, no need to get so complain-y and shit.” Craig rolled his eyes at his two best friends. “Here’s the money, go crazy.” Token added as he handed Craig the money. How nice of him.

Getting up from his seat, which he was comfortable sitting in, he walked around the different tables and made his way to the counter. Craig waited for someone to take his order. He noticed only a couple of people working behind the counter. A blond guy and another blond guy, though their blond hair have a slight difference. The other one was lighter than the other. One of the blonds turn around and noticed Craig standing at the counter and he hurried toward him.

Craig noticed his green buttoned-up shirt and how it’s a bit wrinkled under the apron he was wearing. He looked at his facial features and instantly noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He knew the feeling of having those, because he __has__  those. He looked at the name tag of the barista at the counter and it read “Tweek”.

 _ _Odd name.__  Craig thought to himself, leaving any other side comments by him to the side.

“ _ _Ngh__ -Hello, welcome to Tweek Bros., how may I- _ _argh__ -help you?” ‘Tweek’ stammered. This is a great first impression. Craig thought that he was a very anxious person, just like him, but of course in a different way.

“I’d like two regular espressos and a regular cappuccino.” Craig answered casually. ‘Tweek’ puts in the orders into the cash register and then looks back at Craig.

“Names, please.” The blond requested.

“Two espressos, Craig and Clyde, cappuccino, Token.” Craig answers blandly. He watches carefully as the blond writes down the names on the receipt once it was printed.

‘Tweek’ then hands the receipt to him, “Please wait for your- _ _ngh__ -order on this side, thank you.” ‘Tweek’ politely smiles at Craig as he gestures to his right.

Craig responds with a half smile and nods. He stands at the right side where he’ll be waiting for the coffee to be brewed and whatever needed to be done for coffee to be ready. He wasn’t an expert, so he decided not to go into any detail about brewing coffee at all. As he was waiting, he kept his gaze on ‘Tweek’. The way he talks just somehow intrigued him, it made him want to ask what made him talk like that, even if it sounded rude he’d find a way to make it sound more polite.

Craig watches from a distance as ‘Tweek’ starts to grab a bag of coffee and puts it in one of those kettles. Though, he noticed a bit of twitching from the blond, causing some powder from the bag to spill on the side, wasting a minor small amount of a coffee blend. ‘Tweek’ tries to calm himself, but fails to do so. After a few minutes of him trying to regain himself, he finally stopped twitching for a little while before he poured in the warm water.

“Hey, Tweek,” the lighter blond called, “is it okay if I could get off early? I have something urgent to attend to later.” He added and explained briefly.

“O-Oh, yeah sure,” ‘Tweek’ smiled kindly, “though don’t expect to get a- _ _ah__ -raise, instead you get a deduction from your salary.” Harsh much.

“Oh geez!” The lighter blond replies in a small shock.

“Just k-kidding, Butters.” Tweek chuckled. Craig then made a mental note to himself that the lighter blond was Butters. “It won’t affect your salary in any way, don’t w-worry- _ _ngh!__ ”

Craig wasn’t sure if it was all right for him to listen to what they were talking about, but he was listening anyway. Besides, he didn’t really have any interest in whatever topic they had to talk about. The only thing he had in mind was the order he made. After a few minutes of waiting, he watched as ‘Tweek’ put on the lids of the cups carefully with a bit of twitching. He wondered what made him twitch so much at very short intervals. As soon as the blond walked towards the counter, Craig stood up straight and fixed his posture. He didn’t know why he was doing that, it wasn’t like he was __impressing__  someone.

“Token, Clyde…Craig?” ‘Tweek’ read out the names on the cups and looked at Craig.

“That’s my order,” Craig nodded as he took the tray of cups and set them in front of him on the counter for a little while.

“That’ll be…$10.25- _ _hng!__ ” The noiret put his hand in his pocket and struggled slightly to get the money out. He gave ‘Tweek’ a twenty, since the money Token gave him didn’t have the exact amount nor change he needed.

‘Tweek’ took the money out of his hand and entered the amount Craig had given him into the cash register and the amount of change was then showed. As the blond reached into the machine to grab the amount of change he needed to give, his hands just continued twitching. Craig watched patiently as he took out the amount of change he was going to receive from the twitchy blond. No offense to him, but that’s how he views him anyway.

“Here’s your ch-change, sir.” The blond stuttered as he handed Craig his change. Craig responded with a nod and gave him a half smile.

‘Tweek’ smiled back and bowed his head slightly before he went back to his friend whose name is ‘Butters’. The noiret picked up the tray of coffees and walked back toward the table where Clyde and Token were doing some bet again in Token’s phone. They never get tired of these petty bets they make whenever Token plays a game on his phone. Craig approaches the table and sets down the tray of coffees on the table as he distributed the coffees.

“I could imagine you working here,” Clyde commented, receiving a glare from a now pissed off Craig. “Just saying, you’d look great in their uniform.” Clyde added as he took his espresso and took a sip of his coffee.

“Shut up,” The noiret scoffed as he sat down near the window again.

He did plan on taking a part-time job once summer rolls around, working here might probably not be that bad, but he’d still have to decide on that. This place is still pretty new to him anyway. If he wanted to get to know this place better, it’s either he goes here more than five times or just waits until two weeks before summer to get used to this place and its rules. It’s stupid to think that he’d like Clyde’s idea of him wearing the employees uniforms here. Well it was up to him anyway if he wants to work here or not.

Craig takes his cup of coffee and takes a short look at it before he drank it. One gulp down, he already somewhat liked the taste of it. Again, even though he wasn’t a coffee-guy or expert, he liked this taste. He wondered who was the one who blended the coffee, if it was ‘Tweek’ or ‘Butters’. The noiret’s eyes slowly wandered on its own and directed his gaze towards the twitchy blond. His attentiveness stayed on the blond as he watches him from afar, cleaning the counter and arranging various coffee bean jars and as well as bags that were pre-made.

Craig started to see something different about the boy and continued to stare for a while, along with him drinking his coffee and ignoring whatever the hell Token and Clyde were saying. Though his staring had to be stopped due to ‘Tweek’ turning around and catching him staring at the young blond. Craig was flustered and instantly averted his gaze and turned his whole head to look out of the glass window. He hoped that the blond didn’t catch him staring. He was already nervous as he is when he was at the counter.

 _ _What was I even doing? Staring? This is.…stupid..__  He told himself. His head started to ache, he needs this to stop.

After waiting for a few seconds, he slowly turned his head around to check if he was still looking at him. Luckily, he wasn’t looking and was busying himself by cleaning the other side of the counter table. Craig lets out a quiet sigh of relief and sets down his coffee on the table. Token picks up on his sigh quite easily and glances at him before he looks back at his phone’s screen.

“Something on your mind, Craig?” Token asked, taking a sip of his cappuccino and scrolling down on his phone.

Craig jumps slightly at his friend’s question, “Nothing,” he answers. He curses under his breath for his sighing being so god-damn loud.

“Sure about that?” Token continued to nudge Craig verbally as he dropped his phone on the table gently and looked directly at the noiret.

“Yeah,” he answered, quite nervously to be honest. He felt like he was starting to get interrogated by some cop. “What the hell’s your problem, Token?”

“Nothing, just concerned, Craig.” He sighed, “You can’t hide everything from me or Clyde.” He pointed to Clyde as he was busy drinking his espresso and chatting with someone on his phone.

“What?” Clyde spoke up questioningly, confused on why his name was mentioned. Token waved him off and the brunette went back to talking to the person he was talking to on his phone.

“Even if I was hiding something, it’s none of your business.” Craig spat, he was starting to get more pissed at this point, and it was obvious to Token.

The other noiret sighed and just shrugged, “Just concerned man, ‘cause I saw you staring at that blond fella over by the counter.” Token hinted as he took a sip from his cup.

“ _ _What?!__ ” Craig choked on his coffee as it started to flow out of his mouth slowly. He lets out a few coughs before regaining his thoughts.

He looked directly at Token and noticed him smirking at his friend, his eyes started pointing towards ‘Tweek’ and Craig couldn’t help but take another look at him. He couldn’t take his eyes off the somehow interesting twitchy blond. He kept on twitching as his movement’s pace quickened every time he moved. Craig couldn’t tear his gaze off of him, but he did so because his head had started to ache. The sensation of another headache was something he didn’t want to deal with this weekend. He wanted to get over this.

“You better shut up, Token, I don’t fucking know what you’re getting at, but get your mind straight and remind yourself that it’s __not__  what you think.” Craig warned his friend, receiving a shrug from him as a response.

This new coffee shop had opened up a new door to Craig. He doesn’t know that this door exists, and he probably doesn’t want to know yet. He wasn’t sure of what the future holds from here on out. His thoughts began to get loud once again, and a question which intrigued him in the slightest bit made him wonder;

__Would I come back to Tweek Bros.?_ _


	2. two

Monday rolled in quite quickly than what Craig had expected. After the hangout with Clyde and Token, they ended up going to Token's house and played a bit of World of Warcraft for old time's sake. Somehow, Craig had dared Clyde to drink some of Mr. Black's beer. Token had tried to warn his friends about how his father could get cranky if his beer was missing, but the noiret and brunette didn't care at all and just did what they did. Clyde successfully drank at least three cans of Token’s dad’s beer, luckily they didn’t get caught by one of Token’s relatives who was staying for the weekend.

After drinking all that beer, Clyde was out of his mind. Craig didn’t regret what he dared Clyde, but he hated what he did. Regret and hate are two different things, but they go well together in a way. And during the time Craig was at Token’s place with a drunk Clyde, he __hated__  the experience. The brunette just kept on slurring his words and babbling about his horrible love life, which neither Craig nor Token acknowledged for a while now. Craig even applauded him (mentally) for not mentioning about his huge crush on his bestest friend-Token Black.

Even though Clyde has never admitted his crush, it was already obvious in his eyes that he didn’t want to refuse the idea of him having a thing for his best friend. It was more like he wanted to stay reclusive about his secret gay side and decided to play a straight athletic guy. From this, Craig had only assumed that he was bi and had a strong liking for women than men. Clyde’s babbling continued on for hours until it was three in the afternoon. Craig wasn’t even paying attention to the time when he listened to his brunette friend’s nonsense about relationships and other sad shit about life.

When he was about to leave though, Token started a small argument or debate with him on who’ll take Clyde home. Craig just ended up flipping off his friend and sprinted out of his house and out the gates straight home. That’s how you not give a fuck about anything. Once Craig got home, he received a message from Token saying that Clyde just puked on his bed. The noiret couldn’t help but laugh at his friend’s stupidity. Well, he was drunk, who could blame him for drinking three cans of beer for a stupid dare? No one, except for Clyde. At least it’ll give Clyde and Token some __alone time__.

Remembering that, Craig couldn’t help but wait to hear something from Clyde. Saying how he’s so embarrassed of what he did or he’s probably gonna be so distant to Token ‘cause he probably hates him now for puking on his bed. Well whatever his reaction will be, Craig would be amused and slightly proud for what he did for the two. It’s like a ghost-solid. It’s like a ghost writer, but he wasn’t hired, and he wasn’t told to do his job, nor was he paid either.

“Hey, Craig!” A familiar female-voice greeted him. His stomach instantly twisted, making him stop in his tracks and slowly turn his head around to see Red.

 _ _Dear God…not today, please..__  He didn’t need this right now.

The bright redhead skipped toward the noiret and stopped right in front of him, leaning forward a few inches. Her eyes were a bright hazel color, which kind of matched her red hair. Craig found that as a small special thing about her, but never something that he would see as something else. Sure, he could compliment her, but he chose not to at most times. He didn’t want the attention he received from the girls anyway. Going back to what the noiret had to deal with early in the morning, he realizes that Red was starting to get really closer to him.

Craig took a few steps back before speaking, “What do you want, Red?”

“I wanted to know if you got anything to do later,” She answered, her grin grew wider by a bit as she leaned back and stood up straight.

“Why do you wanna know?” Craig questioned her, he was starting to get suspicious of this girl, and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“Just curious,” she replied, “I was hoping that we could….you know, hang out or something?” Even though Craig wasn’t into women that much, he noticed her fail in acting so vulnerably cute there. God, he wished that Clyde was here.

“Y-Yeah, sorry, I’m…..busy this afternoon.” He stuttered slightly, answering that felt like he was almost lying.

“Really?” The redhead questioned, “What are you gonna do this afternoon?” This is where Craig had to think of something to add to his made-up busy afternoon now.

“I…uh..” He was definitely cornered.

He didn’t want to deal with this kind of shit at all. He hated it. It’s almost everyday he’s either greeted by a girl asking if they could hang out or receive some kind of love letter from Token or Clyde. Some of the girls turned his best friends into messengers; __love__  messengers to be exact. Craig had told them to just ignore them and deny their request of sending the letters to him, but they didn’t listen because they thought this would be a good opportunity for Craig to get over his fear in some way. Don’t they know how to not push someone to their limits? Craig was sure that he was at his limits, he just doesn’t want to admit it right now. Letting out a mental sigh, he decided to just bring one of his friends into this and gave himself a mental note to make it up for them at the end of the week or so.

“I’ll be hanging out with……Kenny later afternoon, yeah.” He started sweating nervously as he blurted out Kenny’s name randomly. Why did it __have__  to be Kenny? He’s __so__  going to have to make it up to him big time.

“Kenny? Seriously?” She asks in a bit of disgust. Kenny’s reputation at South Park High wasn’t really good, so most of the girls would find him a bit disgusting. What do you expect from a perverted guy?

“Yeah, got a problem with that?” Craig spat as he raised an eyebrow at the redhead. He hoped that she didn’t have anything else to say other than it sucks to know that he’s hanging out with South Park’s most perverted guy. (No offense to Kenny, he’s a cool dude.)

“N-No! Not at all, just a bit of a shocker knowing that you hang out with McCormick..” The tone of her voice suddenly changed from a very flirty tone to her regular tone.

“Well who I hang out with is something I don’t want people knowing.” That’s somewhat true? Craig doesn’t usually go out saying who he’s hanging out with every single day of the week, but he does say who when asked.

“What are you guys gonna do? Homework?” She questioned once more. This is where the sweat would end up being a damn waterfall.

“Uhh,” Craig though for a second, “y-yeah,” and he lied yet once again. Kenny’s so going to kill him when he tells him that he needs to hang out with him for the whole afternoon. Well, not the __whole__  afternoon, just after school and he’ll be fine.

Red looked him in the eye for a few seconds, reading him if he was being honest or not. All Red wanted was to have a ‘date’ with the one and only Craig Tucker, but right now, he’s not available. Not because he’s seeing someone, it’s because he’s seeing his fear. He hoped that she couldn’t read right through him. Luckily, she stopped looking at him and just sighed.

“Okay then, well hope you two get your homework done.” She smiled as she waves Craig off and walks away, heading inside the school.

Did __that__  put Craig on the edge of his seat of knowing whether he was going to lie or not. He prayed that nothing like that had to happen again. This was probably the second or third time he had to lie to someone to just avoid a date or socializing in general. Either way, he hated both with his reasons. His stomach was doing back flips while he was thinking of ways to avoid the situation he was in a few seconds ago, and it couldn’t help but kick Craig’s insides. Well, the only thing he could be glad about now is that the whole thing was done and over with.

Now he had to deal with classes and the shitty teachers who yell at him for no good reason. As much as Craig wanted to flip them off, he was too tired to do so and just decided to stick his tongue out at them as a substitute for him flipping off the teachers. Though at times he would flip off the teachers and end up slipping away from trouble because those teachers were his old teachers from grade school, so they didn’t mind his (somewhat) brash personality. And Craig couldn’t give a fuck if they cared or not. He’s flipped off some of the new teachers, they only gave him warnings and that’s it. The lucky guy was __so__  happy.

For academics though, well he couldn’t give a damn either. He has a mindset to pass eleventh grade, get into twelfth as soon as possible and get into college and take a course in space and all the geeky stuff about it. That’s what he wanted. The only times he’s interested in his academics is when the topic is related to physics or (as usual) space. The other topics didn’t really suit his taste and he just ended up ignoring them, flunking the exams once they roll in. He get’s a passing grade which is flunking. Well he doesn’t care either way.

 _ _Wonder if Clyde and Token are here.__  Those two would usually be earlier than him due to the fact that Craig sleeps in up until thirty minutes before school start and manages to get here exactly on time.

Now checking the time, he decided that he should go in and check on Clyde and Token to see if they’re there.

 

* * *

 

The school day ended with Craig receiving a few passing grades and a couple of projects which were due next week. He was glad that it was the type of projects that a single person could work on their own. He couldn’t handle working with a partner or a group because he might end up just using the time he has to slack off and not get a single damn grade from the project. He takes down a mental note to finish those projects this week just so he could do everything he wants to do for the remaining days has which were project-free.

“Dude we should go to Token’s place again!” Craig hears Clyde suggest as they were walking toward their lockers. Well, specifically Clyde’s locker since it was a few lockers down Craig and Token’s lockers.

“Why do you wanna go to my place again?” Token asks, a bit concerned on why the brunette wanted to visit Token’s place again. Sounds like he didn’t want Clyde to puke on his bed again, or worse.

“Is there something wrong with hanging out with my best buds at your place, Toke?” The brunette exclaimed as he nudges Token.

Craig rolled his eyes, “You got drunk the last time we went there, which was two days ago.” He hinted.

Clyde was flustered, “Yeah, well, at least I was happy-drunk, not sad-drunk!” He protests, his walking speed quickened and he was now ahead of his two other friends.

“What difference does that make?” The noiret debated. This is what you call petty arguments between best friends.

“The difference is that at least I wasn’t sad about something when I got drunk at Token’s place!” Clyde exclaimed.

“You __puked__  on Token’s bed, dude.” Craig finally admitted what Token couldn’t admit from the start of the day.

The group stopped in their tracks and Token just glared at Craig for telling him what he did. The reason why no one decides to tell what Clyde has done whenever he’s drunk is because he gets amnesia (which is something Craig finds hilarious) after the alcohol settles down in his system and leaves after awhile. And since Craig had told him what he has done two days ago back at Token’s place, he wasn’t regretting a single word he has said. Token mouths a ‘I will fucking kill you, Tucker.’ to his friend. Craig just smirks and flips him off.

“I did __what?!__ ” Clyde yelled, catching all of the students’ attention. Okay, he needed to calm down now. “I __puked__  on Token’s bed?!” He looked flustered than awhile ago.

“L-Look, it’s nothing that you should-”

Even before Token could assure his brunette friend that he forgives him for what he did when he was drunk, Clyde just dashed off and ran off to somewhere. Token turns to Craig and he gives him a deadly glare, telling him that he shouldn’t move from the place he was standing. Token ran off to find Clyde and attempt to calm him down. It was hard to calm the crying brunette, even if he was an athlete, he wasn’t the so-called tough guy in the football team. Craig couldn’t blame him, he’s known him for almost ten years now, so he just lets him cry whenever he wants to.

The noiret then decides that he should leave the school instead and leave his two best friends some extra alone time. They deserve it for being such dicks to him back when they tried to get him to hook up with random strangers in the same school. The only time they tried to hook him up with someone from out of the school was with a guy who was from North Park. He was visiting for a week and they tried to get them together, and Craig hated the experience. Only reminded him of his trauma.

He shook the thoughts out of his head and focused on what’s happening now. He didn’t even realize that he was outside of the school building already. He guessed that his legs had a mind of its own whenever he was off in his own little world. Craig continued to walk and made it out of the school grounds, making his way to the bus stop, hoping to catch a bus back home. He could walk, but he decided to be nice to himself today and gave him a break for walking home. The noiret stands next to the yellow-sign and waited there for a few minutes.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He grabbed his phone out to see a message from Token.

**_**_T. Black:_ ** _ **

__You better apologize tomorrow__ _ _  
__ __He’s kind of fucked up rn__

Craig just shrugs at the message and decides that he’ll say a simple sorry to the brunette and just leave it at that. He wasn’t good at apologies and never will be good at them for his lifetime. Waiting for a bus took longer than expected, it ended up with Craig having company next to him. He turns to his left and sees an orange parka. The guy next to him then turns his head and puts down his hood and to no-surprise, it was the one and only Kenny McCormick.

“’Sup, Tucker,” he greeted the noiret. As soon as Craig heard his voice, he remembered that he had to hang out with the guy or Red would get suspicious.

Most of the girls in his class back in grade school were very keen of what every boy does, the reason for their behavior is because they hate liars. Craig doesn’t want to be known as a liar to Red, never. Although they aren’t as close as they used to be back in elem, they still respect each other. Craig doesn’t want to disrespect Red in any way possible. But now, he’s disrespecting her….kind of. All he’s gonna do is just pretend-hangout with Kenny and that’s it. He doesn’t have to ask for more.

“Hey, Kenny,” Craig speaks up, “you going anywhere?” He asked right out of the blue.

Kenny blinked for a few seconds before chuckling, “Does someone want to get laid tonight with Mr. McCormick?” He teases as he wriggles his eyebrows at the noiret.

Craig leaned back and just showed a face of disgust, “God, no, I was just asking if you’re going anywhere.” He replied, raising his hand up in defense.

“Sad,” Kenny jokes, “Well yeah, I am going somewhere.” Well then Craig’s plan is ruined.

“Where exactly?” He continued to asked though.

“The new coffee shop down the other street,” the dirty-blond answered, “I think it was called….what was it called again?” He tried to remember and looked up to ponder for a few seconds.

__Wait…new coffee shop? Don’t tell me-_ _

"Oh yeah!” Kenny snapped his fingers, finally remembering the name, “Tweek Bros.!”

Craig’s walls just started to shake and his insides was full of jelly. He wasn’t sure why, but somehow, he was scared. Scared of seeing the certain blond he’s had an eye on for a little while last Saturday? It only made his head ache again. He wanted to tag along with Kenny just so he could hangout with him, like he told Red, but knowing that he was going __there__ , he wasn’t sure anymore if he wanted this small plan of his to go on. It’s either he lies again or skips school tomorrow for his damn feeling of guilt. Craig lets out a breath and turns his head away for a minute before facing the dirty-blond again.

“Is it alright if I go with you?” He asked without holding himself back for once. Kenny arched his ‘brow in response, “Just wanted to…y’know..hangout with ‘ya.” The noiret uttered quietly, though it was loud enough for Kenny to hear.

“Never thought I’d hear that from your mouth, Tucker.” Kenny teases once more and pokes Craig’s side which were pretty much ticklish.

“Fuck off, I only asked to hangout with you, not to play with you.” Craig informed him and slapped the blond’s hand away from him.

“Geez, are you hitting on me, Tucker?” Kenny said in a low voice, a voice that most women (or men) would fall for in just a small amount of time.

Craig blushed lightly, his throat started to feel tight, he shook his head and just started walking down the street where the coffee shop was. Kenny called out to him and just followed him. They were headed toward Tweek Bros. now. If anyone saw them walking together, they probably would think they’re pretty unusual. Why? No one has ever seen Craig ever hang out with the one and only Kenny McCormick. They’re not close as best friends, but they consider each other as friends at least.

Kenny chuckled, “Heh, anyway, let’s go.” He led the way down to the coffee shop with Craig following behind.

Half-way through the walk, it was pure silence. Well, almost pure silence if the greeters of McCormick didn’t count, making Kenny speak up a few times. Either way, Craig enjoyed it. If he could just hang out with his friends like this then he’d be so happy. The sun began to set as the rays started bouncing off of some cars parked in front of some buildings, flashing into Craig’s eyes making him blind for a millisecond. He just flipped off the cars for a second and continued on. A couple more blocks and they’re at the coffee shop. As the walk started to grow more silent, Kenny broke it.

“So, what made you wanna hang out with me?” He asked, leaving Craig to be embarrassed about his feelings.

“I..uh,” he stuttered, “kinda lied to Red about me…..hanging out with you..” He finished. God, did it __not__ feel right to say that. Saying that in his head was already worse, admitting it just opened up a whole new world.

“Seriously?” The blond snickered, “Dude, you coulda just said you weren’t interested, easy as that.” He advised, but it’s too late now. Craig had to face his consequences.

Even if he did say that, he knew that it would’ve hurt the young girl’s heart. He didn’t even have the guts to say that to her in the first place. Craig would rather suffer than cause pain.

“And I thought you were Craig Tucker.” Kenny commented. What he meant by that was the Craig he knew almost four years ago. Well, he somewhat disappeared, thanks to trauma.

“I am, but you know people change.” The noiret replied. Just like that, Kenny glanced at him before he turned his head around facing forward and mumbled something. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” The blond answered, sighing.

Craig just shrugged, his mind then started to wander to various thoughts again. A new intriguing question popped up.

“Hey Kenny,” he called, the blond replied in a hum, “why’d you wanna go to Tweek Bros.?” The noiret asked.

“Well,” it took awhile for the blond to reply, “a friend of mine works part-time there and he told me about how the coffee there is great and stuff.” He explained briefly, smiling brightly at the end of his statement.

Craig noticed the smile and saw how his teeth was showing slightly through a small gap. He also notices how his cheeks were brushed in light scarlet, looking so bashful of how he looked or talked. Craig knows that type of look, he just smiles for his lucky friend.

“Yeah?” He pushed on further.

“Yeah,” Kenny replied, “he’s an amazing person, and it’s sad knowing that so many people hate him so much for no good reason, it just makes me wanna beat them up, y’know?” He added, balling his hand into a fist.

“I guess,” The noiret casually said. Since it’s been so long, he forgot how that felt.

“I just wanna see him and support him in any way possible,” The blond uttered.

Craig notices how his smile kept on changing during the small talks about this ‘friend’ of his. He confirms that he is definitely in love with this person. Whoever he is that person would be lucky to have a guy named Kenny McCormick. Even though he acts like a pervert and jokes around too much, he has a good heart. That’s how the noiret would describe him anyway for the time he’s known this guy, and knowing that his friend finally found someone to settle down with, Kenny would be much happier.

“So you’re going to go into the coffee shop, order something, and praise it for its flavor and shit?” Craig asked, reassuring if that’s what Kenny will be doing.

“Mhm,” The blond hummed and nodded.

“Okay then,” The noiret replied, “don’t expect me to pay for your order.” He noted, letting him know that he’s broke as fuck right now.

“No need, dude,” Kenny said as he turned his head toward Craig, “I got my paycheck with me.” He winked, revealing a small envelope that had his paycheck in there.

Craig remembered that Kenny was taking a part-time job as a mechanic somewhere in town. He fixes cars and other mechanical shit which pays him well, the noiret assumes. Well, most of his friends take part-time jobs anyway, so it’s no biggie to him. Though he wasn’t sure when he was told that Kenny was taking a part-time job, he couldn’t care less.

“Almost forgot that you were working,” Craig chuckled, making Kenny join in as well.

Throughout the rest of the walk, they talked about jobs, pays and other stuff about the town. They went to some topics out of the town a few times and they were so into the topic so much that they almost sounded like professionals talking. Well that’s something that a person could and probably would describe them if they ever heard them talk about those specific topics. Well either way, the two friends wouldn’t care about what people think. What they enjoy is what they enjoy, even if it is getting geeky over Terrance and Phillip. One thing they highly enjoy.

“Geez man, didn’t you know you were __that__  intense about it.” Kenny commented as he chuckled at what Craig told him.

“Neither did I,” Craig replied. Wherever this conversation has gotten to, it made him feel like he was on really good terms with Kenny.

“Whelp, looks like we’re here.” The blond said as he stopped right in front of the doors, making the noiret stop in his tracks as well.

Craig looked at the name of the shop and started to get some kind of small deja vu moment, but he shrugged it off. He saw Kenny walk into the shop without telling him and made him scurry to the door, going inside to follow his friend. The aroma of coffee once again filled his nose with delight for some reason. He expected there to be less customers, but it seems like it’s a busy day today. Today was Monday, what’d he expect? Kenny walked over to the counter and stood there, leaning forward against the front. Craig followed him there and looked at him to notice him staring at something; or more like __someone__.

The noiret followed the direction where the blond was looking at and saw the saw the same boy from last Saturday. He was busy brewing some coffee until he turned around and saw Kenny looking at him. The boy grinned widely and walked quickly over to the counter.

“Kenny!” The bubbly blond greeted him. “Didn’t think you’d come here, and with your hood down.” He smiled, his cheeks flushed in light red as Kenny ruffled his hair.

 _ _He looks familiar..__  Craig thought, looking closer at the shorter blond in front of them. His eyes wander down to look for a name tag of some sort, and there it was pinned to his apron. ‘Butters’. Now he remembered his name and his face.

“I had to, since you kept on rambling about how this place’s coffee is great.” Kenny chuckled before he looked over to the noiret. “Oh yeah, this is my friend, Craig.” The dirty blond introduces him as he pointed at him with his thumb.

“Hey,” Craig greeted awkwardly, raising his hand as a gesture.

“You look familiar,” ‘Butters’ said, “did I see you somewhere?” He asked, pointing at the noiret.

“A couple of friends and I got some coffee here a couple days ago.” The noiret answered, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well no wonder you looked familiar, I saw you and Tweek talkin’ at the counter.” Butters stated. The twitchy blond’s name was mentioned and Craig’s attention had sparked up.

“Is he….here?” He asked, looking around the station to see if he __was__  here.

“Well, he’s out at the back taking his break.” Butters answered. The noiret’s face dropped a bit, but it was unnoticeable.

“Huh, didn’t know you were this famous here already,” Kenny joked, “no wonder you wanted to come here withe me.” He chuckled, nudging Craig in the arm.

“Fuck off, McCormick.” The noiret muttered, pushing away his hand and walked a bit further away from him.

“Heh, don’t mind him, Leo, he’s usually like that.” Kenny tells Butters before Craig walks over to a table which was in the middle of the shop.

He didn’t want to listen to his friend’s conversation with his crush. It’ll only bore the noiret the whole afternoon he’ll be staying there. As he sat down, he kept his eye on Kenny and Butters, watching both of their mouths move. As much as Craig wonders what they’re talking about, he couldn’t give a damn about it. He could see them laughing at what they’re telling each other, smiling so brightly with their eyes right on each other. The noiret just rolls his eyes at the sight and looked away to look out the window.

The sun was ready to set by the mountains. Craig wasn’t sure if he wanted to go home right now, but he did remember that he had to hang out with Kenny by his words. He lets out a sigh and stands up to walk over to the counter. Getting over to the counter, Butters notices the noiret walk over and catching Kenny’s attention as his head turned around.

“Where’s out back?” Craig blurted out. He wasn’t sure why he asked that, but a small part of him knew the reason.

“Go down the restrooms and you’ll see a door next to those rooms.” Butters answered as he pointed toward the restroom area.

“Thanks,” the noiret responded and nodded his head.

Craig turned around and headed toward the back door of the shop. He wanted to escape the aroma of coffee for a second since it started to feel like it wasn’t right. He looks at the door for a quick second before reaching for the door knob and turning it while pushing the door open. Once he was outside, he didn’t see the twitchy blond in an instant, of course he had to look for him. Why would he stay at one spot? Walking down the small steps in front of the door, Craig looked around to see if the blond was near; apparently not.

He decides to walk around the back for a bit, scan the area for no purpose at all. He just wanted to take in the surroundings and see if anything would interest him at all. Not much were surprising to the noiret since most of the things out at the back were crates of coffee beans and blends. It was something to expect from a coffee business anyway. Craig walks toward one of the crates and stares at it for a minute before deciding to sit down on top of it. As he sat down, his eyes then quickly caught the person he was looking for.

Leaning on the faded-painted wall was the boy he wanted to see. Before the noiret could call out to him, his eyes caught a thin cylinder object in the blond’s hand with smoke coming out of one end. Well someone’s not what they seem. As Craig opened his mouth to speak, the blond beat him to it.

“What are you- _ _ngh__ -doing h-here?” His words were stuttered, anxious from the fact that a stranger was out at the back with him.

“I wanted to stay out of the noise,” Craig replied casually. And by noise, he meant the noise that the two lovey-dovey blonds at the counter were making.

“Heh, I could u-understand that.” The blond replied, taking in his cigarette and exhaling smoke through his mouth.

“You taking an early break or an on-time break?” He attempted to push the conversation further, just so the awkward atmosphere wouldn’t have to ruin his mood right now.

“A-An early one,” blonde answered, “almost had a- _ _argh__ -panic attack..” This guy was for real.

“And I could understand that,” Craig chuckled, relating to those words.

“Nice?” They both chuckled at the blond’s comment.

“What’s your name?” The noiret asked out of the blue suddenly, hoping to remind himself what the guy’s name was again.

“Tweek, Tweek Tweak.” He answered, giving the noiret a calming smile. He blinks at the reply for a few seconds before realizing that his name was literally repeated twice.

Craig was slightly confused by that, “What?” he asked, “Am I hearing right?”

“I swear, it’s m-my name, but my last name is spelled with an ‘a’.” Tweek explained briefly, which Craig understood.

“Why’d your parents named ‘ya Tweek if your last name already sounds like it?” He asked in a somewhat joking manner.

“I have n-no idea, guess they just like the s-sound.” Tweek replied as he exhaled more smoke through his mouth.

“Are you even allowed to smoke here?” Craig then quickly asked. Even though he didn’t mean to, he was a bit concerned for the guy who worked here probably full-time.

“As long as my dad doesn’t- _ _gah!__ -catch me doing it.” The blond answered, twitching in the middle of his sentence.

Craig didn’t object to that since he just usually lets people do whatever the hell they wanna do. If they wanna get high, then they can get high. If they wanna slack off, then they can slack off. It’s all fine by the one and only Craig Tucker; as long as what they’re doing is not gonna bother the teen, and that’s when everything won’t be fine by him.

“Your dad the boss or something?” Craig asked intriguingly. He’s praising himself for bringing the conversation somewhere, since his last attempts on making a conversation long didn’t go well the past times.

“He’s the owner of this place,” Tweek answered, finishing his cigarette as he dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. “I’m j-just the manager here.”

“Manager, wow, that’s a pretty big role.” The noiret commented.

“I’ve had the job since I was ten,” the blond stated as he shrugged his shoulders. His gaze then fell down and his eyes suddenly looked dull.

 _ _Shit.__  Craig cursed in his head for bringing up this topic accidentally. “Did I upset you?”

“H-Huh? Oh! __Gah!__ -No, no, you didn’t..” Tweek quickly stammered and ran over his words quickly, wanting to give Craig the assurance of him not causing the small change of emotion.

“You sure?” He asked again. He didn’t want to make the guy feel more sad, but look at what he’s doing.

“Y-Yeah,” Tweek answered, giving him a smile telling him that it’s all right. Craig just sighed and looked away from the younger teen, looking at some other crates. “O-Oh yeah, I didn’t get your name.”

“Craig,” he answered nonchalantly. The twitchy blond’s eyes suddenly rise up as he looked at the boy sitting on top of a crate of (probably) coffee.

“No wonder you looked familiar to me,” Tweek chuckled. Craig turns his head toward the blond to see a smile on his face.

“And you looked familiar to me as well,” he said sarcastically. He did, but he already knew him just by looking, all he didn’t have back then was his name.

“What was your friend t-teasing you about?” Tweek then asked, catching the noiret off guard.

“What do you mean?” He replied, questioning him on why he was asking.

“Oh-uh, n-nevermind…th-that was- _ _argh!__ -stupid of me to ask! I’m sorry!” Again, the twitchy blond ran over his words again. His hands shaking as he held onto the edges of his apron.

“Hey, it’s alright, don’t worry.” The noiret reassured him to help him calm down.

Tweek looked at him and continued to twitch constantly. Craig wanted to help him stop by putting his hands on his shoulders, but for some reason he couldn’t. He was afraid of physical contact. They’ve only known each other for at least fifteen minutes, but it felt like days that they knew each other if he counted the days he’s remembered Tweek’s face. The conversation went silent as Craig spaced out. He notices the blond’s twitching were now going off at three-minute intervals. Why did he count the time? He doesn’t know.

He then notices that the blond’s eyes wouldn’t look at him. The way he was holding his arm made it looked like he was feeling uncomfortable at this moment. The silent was probably killing him on the inside and he didn’t like it. The twitching then started to quicken and Craig had decided to get off the crate he was sitting on and approach the twitching mess.

“You wanna head inside?” Craig offered, pointing his thumb at the door.

Tweek responded with a nod and he proceeded to the door. The noiret followed behind and they both got inside. Coffee filled Craig’s atmosphere once again. As they make their way to the counter, the noiret catches Kenny still talking to Butters. He sighs and rolls his eyes at his friend. He approaches them while Tweek goes to walk behind the counter and get Butters’ attention for a minute. Craig watches as he sees Butters acting a bit awkward. It seemed like the two blonds were starting to hit it off for the whole time he was gone. He wasn’t even sure if this counted as hanging out with Kenny anymore, but it looked like Kenny didn’t mind at all.

Craig looked at the dirty blond and noticed how his face was flushed in red. The noiret smirked at him as Kenny glanced at the noiret. The dirty blond mouthed ‘What?’ and the noiret just let him know by widening his smirk. Kenny punched him gently in the shoulder which made the noiret laugh at his petty ignorance. Honestly, if he had feelings he should just say it right now. No time to waste, but Craig understands that he wanted to keep what he had with Butters safe for no risk.

“How long was I gone?” Craig asked, looking around at the counter scanning the small things he didn’t notice when he first came in the shop.

“At least ten minutes or so,” Kenny answered, “you sure did take your time talkin’ to that twitchy guy.” He pointed at Tweek which made Craig look at him.

He started getting unsettling feelings inside his guts, leaving him to just look at Tweek with an uncomfortable look. He told himself that it was stupid what he was feeling right now. This was something he hasn’t felt in over three months. Craig tried to take his eyes off of the blond, but his stare stayed. The unsettling feelings stayed as well, as long as he had his eyes on the blond, those feelings won’t disappear.

“W-We need to go..” The noiret suddenly blurted out in a whisper.

“What?” Kenny asked, baffled by what Craig said.

“I mean…I…I need to go now, dude.” He said as he started walking toward the front doors. Before he could leave, he turned around to face Kenny and waved. “It was cool hanging out with you.”

“Ditto.” The dirty blond replied and just waved as well.

And just like that, Craig dashed out of the coffee shop. He wanted to the unsettling feelings to disappear so he had to get out of there quick. Once the aroma of coffee and the noise of people talking left his system, he was at ease. His pace slowed down and he was walking at a fair speed. Taking in a breath, he thought back to the way he was feeling when he looked at Tweek. His own eyes couldn’t tear away from the blond in the faded olive-green button-up shirt.

Thoughts swirled around his head as he tried to look for a reason why he was feeling that. He checked off the things he did that could lead to some kind of stomach ache. He’s eaten his breakfast, he didn’t sleep late, he didn’t eat any of his mom’s cooking last night which his dad had made obvious was terrible, so what was it? Craig shook his head and stopped in his tracks, pulling on his hat’s strings to cover half of his face slightly. He didn’t want to believe it. It was too early for that. He knew better than this.

 _ _It…..it couldn’t be..__  He kept on repeating words in his mind, telling him that it wasn’t that.

He just probably wasn’t feeling well because of the smell of coffee. He didn’t like coffee that much so he’s probably not used to it, right? Sure, it’s true. The thoughts of him not _feeling_ that continued to wander around his mind full of thoughts about space and other things, but that didn't stop his feelings from building up until he didn't really start to feel right. All Craig Tucker wants was an excuse, and a way to leave the fear behind.


	3. three

Craig had somewhat woken up on the wrong side of the bed today, and his sister had to go and make his morning worse by stabbing his breakfast in front of him. As much as he wanted to tell her off, he was too sleep deprived to even understand what his mom was saying. On his way to school, he had to walk since a drive to school would only make him fall asleep, but he wasn’t in the right mood to sleep. He was too pissed off at himself for no apparent reason. Well, at least that’s what he thinks.

The noiret had stayed up almost all night, lost in his thoughts of the specific blond that somehow make him go kind of crazy in a way. Another reason he can't find once again. He kept on giving his mind so much things to think about, and that’s what led him to sleep at quarter to four in the morning. He couldn’t shut his mind down for one single second, and the pain in his head just drove him crazy.

 _ _This is fucking stupid..__  He cursed to himself as he was on his way to his locker.

Walking down the corridors, he receives a few stares from faces he’s familiar and unfamiliar with. Well, honestly he couldn’t tell since his eyesight is a bit blurry at the moment. He hoped that it would go away later in the day. Finally reaching his locker, he sees Token-that’s something to be glad about. Craig approaches his locker and raises a hand at Token, catching his attention.

“Oh, hey Craig,” Token greeted, “somethin’ happen to you?” He pointed directly at Craig’s eyes, noticing how they were a bit red and the dark circles under them were much darker than before.

“You could say that,” Craig replied in a very raspy voice. He didn’t really speak much when he woke up, aside from groaning in pain when he woke up at the middle of the night once and in the morning as well.

Token chuckled, “What can we expect from you, Tucker?” He sighed as he closed his locker shut and locked it.

“Shit, you can expect shit from me.” The noiret responded and just opened his locker swiftly not caring about the loud bang he made when he opened it.

“Sure can,” Token sighed once more and rolled his eyes at his friend who was pretty much not himself at this point.

It wasn’t the first time Token had to deal with this kind of Craig. Eighth grade, Craig was going crazy during lunch yelling nonsense about Red Racer. No one knew why he was acting like that except for Token and Clyde. They were up to date on what he was doing most of the time, and back then, he was doing his projects the last minute and ended up finishing at five in the morning. The noiret had little tolerance for sleep deprivation, it would end him up on top of a table stomping his feet and almost breaking one of the cafeteria table.

He was reported afterward and Mr. Mackey had to send him to the nurse’s office just so he could sleep. But of course, he didn’t sleep that easy. Another time was during ninth grade, he went two days with no sleep because a guy from the other class dared him too just so the guy would take back his word about Stripe. Token had told his friend that it was a stupid thing to do, but Craig didn’t listen to him at all. It was like the eighth grade incident, but double the experience.

“Wait, what’s our first subject again?” Craig questioned as he was staring at the insides of his locker, wondering why he opened it in the first place.

“Chemistry, dude.” Token answered casually as he took out his phone and started to scroll down some messages.

“God, early in the fucking morning?” The noiret complained in the same raspy voice. “I do __not__  want to deal with some stupid topic about chemical reactions and shit right now…” He added.

“We’re done with that topic,” His friend informed him finally taking his eyes off of his phone to look at Craig with some slight concern.

“Wait, really?” Craig asked, facing his friend as he raised an eyebrow at him. Token nodded in response. “I wanna go home.” He groaned as he took out the books he needed.

“Go ahead, Clyde and I won’t stop ‘ya.” Token shrugged as he patted the noiret’s back.

Craig just quietly grunted and placed his books inside his bag. Once he was done, he slammed his locker shut making yet another loud bang thanks to it being made out of sturdy metal. He saw some eyes staring at him, but he just ended up glaring at them for a second and they just walk away. The way he looked right now is something that no one should see today. He may look drunk, but he did not even drink anything. Craig and Token started walking down the hallway to their classroom for their first period.

Clyde wouldn’t be with them at this period since he has some kind of biology class which Craig doesn’t really know about that much. He takes a different schedule from Clyde and it’s rare for them to be in the same class. For Token, he just has a similar schedule to Craig with some minor differences. Though the periods don’t matter since they all get to meet up at lunch and dismissals. The group doesn’t really mind it at all, as long as they get to talk to each other in the end.

“Dude, you should go straight to bed when you get home,” Token quickly suggested as they were walking.

Craig turns to flip off his friend, even though he was only looking out for him. He knew that, and he didn’t need the reminder of it. Once he’s home, he’s gonna go straight to bed. That’s what he told himself. Token then just shrugged his shoulders and backed off of Craig for now. The noiret is in the state where he just doesn’t want to be bothered at the moment, so talking to him for a second would probably be something that he’d ignore.

Finally making it to their classroom, the noiret just opened the door with no grace at all and pushed it. Everyone had their heads turn toward him, all eyes were on Craig now. The noiret groaned in frustration and walked straight to the back of the room while Token decided to sit beside Jimmy, one of Craig’s friends as well. They get along fine, but they don’t talk that much, a reason why Craig doesn’t sit with the guy often. The noiret saw a bag next to him, but he didn’t bother to see who was he going to sit down next to for the rest of the period; he was too __tired__.

 _ _I shouldn’t have gone to school..this is stupid.__  He thought.

If his parents cared about him in the slightest, then they would’ve noticed the way he was acting when he was at the table. He could barely focus on his surroundings and the sounds he’s hearing. They could’ve let him stay at home and sleep, but he’s at school now so there’s nothing he can do. He could skip class, sure, but he’s not like that anymore. Junior years he used to skip classes, they were only on occasions though. Well, ‘personal’ occasions to be exact. The teachers were sick of his behavior. They better be glad that he somewhat changed in senior year.

Time went by slowly, Craig’s state of mind was unstable. Well, unstable in the way where he’s exhausted from no sleep. It was obvious from the way he looked right now; he started to nod off. He tried to keep his head up, but his sleepiness slowly started to take over his mind; that is until his seatmate poked his arm which caused the noiret to flinch and instantly fix his posture. It snapped him out of his sleepy trance and somewhat lost his drowsiness. He looked pissed now.

Craig turned his head around to see who needed his attention. His eyes widen in surprise to see the familiar person who’ll be sitting next to him for the whole period.

“C-Craig?” Tweek stuttered out. His eyes twitched as he saw the same noiret that he saw yesterday.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Craig spouted without even thinking. Even though his sleepiness is gone, his mind isn’t in the right place at the moment. Tweek started to feel bad and Craig picked up on it, “Oh, god, sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that.” He quickly apologized as he gestured his hands to mean it.

“It’s a-all right,” the blond smiled, “I understand this is something that’s too- _ _ngh!__ -overwhelming to you.”

Craig nodded and sighed, still feeling a bit bad about what he said to Tweek. He wished that he slept last night instead of leaving his mind in control. But thanks to the overwhelming meeting here at school, he seems to be a bit more awake and aware in reality. The ‘zombie Craig’ is gone for now. Tweek chuckles at the way the noiret looked now. He arches a brow at the blond to which Tweek responds with a head shake.

“Anyways, what I meant to say was, what’re you doing here?” He asks, “I don’t see you often in my classes, or even when I’m walking around school.” Craig pointed out as his head was still trying to process that Tweek was going to the same school as he is.

“I-I have a different schedule,” Tweek answered as he looked down at the table, “a __very__  different schedule..” he added.

“What do you mean a ‘ _ _very__ different schedule’?” The noiret questioned further.

“It’s a conflicted schedule where I’m- _ _hngh!__ -mostly at work than school.” The blond replied, lifting up his head to turn to Craig.

“Wait, how does the principal-”

“The principal knows.” Tweek quickly answered Craig’s question without him needing to say it. Craig closed his mouth and waited for him to continue. “My mom talked to him and he understood what’s going on so I have a very different schedule than the other students here..”

Craig nodded his head in understanding. He wanted to press on further in the conversation about this schedule of his, just so he would know when he’ll be able to see the blond, but the teacher had arrived even before the noiret could peep another word. He wasn’t ready for Chemistry. Even though he was awake, he wasn’t __fully__ awake. The teacher walked behind the desk and placed down his belongings on top of it. Craig could already see the different things his professor was ready to bore him with for one hour.

“Great, Sir D-Bag is here now.” The noiret muttered under his breath; which was quite loud enough for Tweek to hear him.

“You call him Sir D-Bag?” The blond whispered, catching Craig off-guard and causing him to flinch slightly.

“He’s a d-bag to me, anyway.” He responded, rolling his eyes at his professor. The blond chuckled and turned toward the teacher to pay attention like a good student.

Craig glances toward Tweek for a quick minute before turning his head back toward ‘Sir D-Bag’. He seriously didn’t want Chemistry. He wished that he could ask to go to the restrooms, and skip, but he didn’t feel like it. Plus his mind wasn’t in the right place right now; it’s still wandering around. The noiret paid attention to his teacher and watched every single action and movement he was doing, seeing him grab for a piece of chalk and write some notes on the board. He eyed each student, noticing how some of them were being productive by writing down the notes being written on board, while some just decided not to write anything at all.

Craig then heard the sound of shuffling paper next to him. He looked over to his right and see the blond spaz twitching slightly and turning the pages of his notebook to a blank page supposedly. Once he got to a semi-blank page, he started jotting down the notes being written on the board. The noiret was now intrigued on how Tweek writes so his eyes then roll down to see the way he was writing. Well, it was something to be expected; a sloppy handwriting. He was twitching constantly, ending up with an illegible writing.

 _ _He somehow acts like a kid with the way he’s writing.__  Craig mentally commented. He had the need to hold his hand just so the twitching could stop temporarily, but he was still scared of physical contact with the spaz. Or anyone for that matter.

Craig averts his gaze from the blond’s way of writing and back to the topic in Chemistry. It was honestly a very boring period for the seventeen-year-old teen. He could barely keep his eyes open, he had to move himself a lot in his seat just so he could stay awake. Every time he would move in his seat, Tweek kept on looking at him. Craig had noticed this and just decided to brush it off and ignore whatever comments he had for him about moving a lot in his seat. His eyes then shifted toward the wall clock hanging on the wall next to the door.

 _ _8:45__. Craig’s tired.

* * *

 

Lunch break, Craig was on his way to the cafeteria with Token. He wanted to invite Tweek to their table to see if he would be all right with it, but the blond had left the classroom before Craig could ask him. The noiret was slightly disappointed, but he didn’t blame the guy, he probably had other plans with other people. Same class, different class, he doesn’t care. Once Craig and Token were in the cafeteria, they were instantly greeted by a brunette.

“There you guys are!” He exclaims. “What took you guys so long?”

“Yeah, we were a little bit overtime.” Token replied, scratching his head.

Craig sighed and walked toward a table, tired of hearing another conversation and just wanted to get some lunch. He walked over to the stall and took a tray and waited for his turn in the line. His patience was already low, why not make it go into the negatives? He groaned quietly and just let his tolerance take over this. As the line was moving, he noticed someone familiar in the very far front of him. Tweek. As soon as Craig took notice of it, he was wide awake once again. The blond was talking to someone next to him, a person he didn’t know about nor did he see in school (again).

It was rare for Craig to remember people from outside of school and see them in school. Whoever the guy Tweek was talking to, he didn’t want to meet them at all. Somehow, he noticed Tweek smiling the whole time they were talking, then there were times the smile would drop and appear again. Thanks to his trance on the blond, he felt someone shove him from the back. The noiret shook his head and noticed that the line was moving, he turned toward where Tweek was and he was already out of the line and walking with the guy toward their table.

Craig sighed. __What am I even doing anymore?__  He was now pissed off at himself now.

He walked forward and got whatever food was available and met his interest. Even though he wasn’t craving for anything, he just grabbed his usual favorites in the cafeteria and headed toward the table where Token and Clyde were sitting afterward. They get lunch somewhere else, probably out of school as Craig assumed, but he could care less. Fancy food, Craig would sure like it, but he’s not up for that lifestyle. Walking toward the table, he noticed that Jimmy was sitting with them.

 _ _Please no jokes, I’m not in the mood.__  He gritted his teeth.

“Finally, what took you forever?” Clyde asked, sounding like he was complaining on the long wait. Craig just glared at the brunette, earning a chuckle from him. “Anyway, let’s just eat. I’ve been starvin’ since I was waiting for you guys.”

“You g-g-g-guys should’ve taken a d-d-different schedule.” Jimmy suggested, but it was too late for suggestions now.

Craig would love a different schedule, but he doesn’t have the time to get a change of pace and with the appearance of the ‘interesting’ blond, Tweek, he doesn’t need a change. He only hopes for the a chance to talk to him again.

“Eh, as long as the schedule doesn’t bother me, I don’t care.” Token shrugs and takes a bite out of his sandwich.

“If you say so,” Jimmy replies, taking a bite into his lunch. Craig decides to just stay quiet and not say anything.

The conversation carried out with Clyde and Jimmy, with Token joining once in awhile. Craig stayed silent, trying not to get into whatever his friends were talking about. He could hear mentions about some new shows and a few little gossips here and there, something that Craig wasn’t interested in. There were times where they would grab the noiret’s attention, so he limited his answers to their questions quite strictly. There was no reason for him to be so reclusive, but if he did end up being so open he would’ve spouted out offensive nonsense.

Lunch was almost over, and Craig was down to his last two periods and then he can go home. Finally. He could think of all the things he could do once he gets home, number one on his list is sleeping. Food could wait for him, right? Well, that’s something he hopes for right after he sleeps. After food for him, a talk with Stripe before sleeping once again. It’s not his usual routine, well, when he’s not so sleep deprived. Who knew one day without sleep for this Tucker could really do a number on him. He’s aware of the fact and he’s not embarrassed about it…actually he is.

He’s a secretive man, he hides his emotions well with that blank face of his. So with his blank eyes, they wander around the cafeteria, observing people again. Different students going on about different topics about school or other things such as latest trends, ‘gossip’ and sleepovers apparently. Well those were some topics Craig overheard from different people walking pass by him and some who were sitting close to the table he was in. As his eyes continue to look around the wide room, he saw Tweek once again.

 _ _I swear, I couldn’t miss him even if I tried to.__  Craig scoffed to himself, cursing under his breath which his friends didn’t catch luckily.

This time, he saw someone familiar Tweek was talking to. Kenny’s little crush, Butters. Though, Craig remembered that he heard the dirty-blond call him ‘Leo’ for some reason. Well whatever that reason was, Craig didn’t want any knowledge of it. Going back to the spaz, he noticed how his table only had a few people. Out of that few people he only knew two, including the blond spaz himself. The noiret watches closely as he sees the blond’s mouth move, words he can’t hear clearly but somehow wishes to hear close to his ear.

Craig continued to stare at Tweek in awe, and from there, his headache started to act up. The noiret shut his eyes tightly and balled his hand into a fist, angering himself. It was hard to believe that he’s having headaches because he’s looking at a person who he met a few days ago. He was going crazy, that’s what he told himself. And with that, the noiret broke the stare and stood up from his seat.

“Leaving already?” Clyde asked, quickly noticing his friend about to leave the table.

Craig looked at the brunette and sighed, “I need to get to class.” He answered simply and left.

His group of friends were left baffled by the way he answered Clyde. He wasn’t one to care about his punctuality, so the way he acted was a bit questionable. Craig returned his tray before leaving the cafeteria and heading toward his locker. Once he was at his locker, he put in his code and swung the locker door open. He grabbed the books he needed, leaving some notebooks behind since he doesn’t usually take notes and closed his locker. The temptation to just run out of the building was still in the noiret’s mind, but he had to control himself. He was almost done with the day, so there’s no point in running away from school.

As he turned around on his heels, he sees again the blond. He takes a few steps back before hitting the locker with his back, making a loud bang for the blond to panic.

“ _ _Gah!__ ” Tweek turned around to see the noiret backed up against his locker, noticing an anxious look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry,” Craig apologized, “I didn’t mean to scare you..” he added as he scratched the side of his arm and looked away from the blond nervously.

“D-Don’t do that ever- _ _ngh!__ -again!” Tweek responded, twitching nervously now.

Craig started to feel guilty for making the spaz feel way now. It was only awhile ago in the cafeteria he looked happy and relaxed, but now he made the blond feel like there was going to be a gun shooting later the day.

“I said I was sorry.” The noiret rolled his eyes at the blond as he shrugs his shoulder. Although he still feels bad for the accidental scare, he’s kinda annoyed that Tweek wouldn’t accept the apology.

“Wh-What has gotten into you?” Tweek asked stuttering. He still sounded anxious.

“I….I stumbled..and fell backwards.” Craig lied. He wanted to say it was because of the spaz that he fell backwards, but he knew that it would only make the spaz feel bad.

“You stumbled?” The blond repeated in a questioning tone.

“Yeah.” Craig answered as calm as possible, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to read his little white lie.

“W-Well be careful next- _ _Ah!__ -time.” Tweek advised as he fixed his shoulder bag for no reason.

“I will..” Somehow those words made the noiret feel some kind of pain in his guts. He wasn’t sure if it was the bad feelings or his lunch wanting to come out now. Either way, he would hate it.

The conversation ended there as Tweek walked away, leaving Craig in the hallway. The noiret watched as Tweek walked and turned to his left. He wondered where the blond was going since he noticed his shoulder bag full and looking heavy. He could’ve asked where he was going, but it would’ve freaked out the blond more. It was enough for Craig to ‘accidentally’ hit the back of his lockers and scaring the shit out of Tweek once, a second time of scaring the spaz is just gonna make the noiret feel worse. Then suddenly, just like a flash, pain struck the noiret’s head.

“Ugh..” he groaned quietly, “I want this day to end…”


End file.
